So I told you a few days ago that I was in a movie this past summer. And then it was your turn to guess who I played in the movie. Well, now theres a poll on the right where you can vote from among the suggestions. Up for vote are:
- A Druggie
- The doctor who tells the girl she's going to die
- A Nazi
- Repair guy porn star
- The little girl
Vote away. And by the way, thanks for all the confidence that I could have been a good guy. This should be interesting.
So... now I Twitter.
I resisted for a very long time.
But then I thought of my grandfather. See, my grandfather calls me every now and then. I always answer, because he's 90 and I'm afraid he's dead. (Well aware that if he were dead he couldn't call me. But someone else could be dead. Or someone else could be calling me on his phone with the bad news. I'm just being honest about what goes through my head.) But he's never dead, he just can't figure out his email or Word.
And trying to talk him through it - over the phone - is a bit like teaching a blind person to read an African clicking dialect. Over the phone.
I don't want to be like that over the years. I'd like to stay somewhat current. Ergo: Twitter.
I'm hip. I'm with it. dukka-dukka-dukka-dukka-dukka-dukka-dukka
And you should follow me. (That's Twitter talk for subscribe to my tweets. More Twitter talk there.) Click the link on the right. Or just log in to Twitter and find me. I'm thecachinnator.
I promise to tweet stupid stuff, tmi, and useless information.
So last summer I was in a movie. We filmed my scenes in one day. Sooooo.... it's not exactly a "big" part. But there is a trailer for it.
It's here.
Now is the part where you guess what role I played in the film.
It's been a rough week, friends. I've never been involved in a lawsuit before. That's not by accident. I live my life in such a way that I should never have to sue anyone nor should anyone be able to sue me. Yet, here I am. In the course of my work, I am forced to sue a pair of prominent Texas entertainers.
Some people know me and have been very supportive because they believe that I act in the best interest of Waco and my business. But many other people have been very ugly. I suppose they think that people in entertainment and people who make them laugh are by definition good people. That must make me wrong, right? Only I'm not. I really won't bore you with all the details, and I'm not particularly concerned with whether or not you believe me. I know most of you who read this and I'm pretty sure you do believe me. But that's beside the point. Or, rather, that is the point. I guess my point is that you can't really know whether or not I'm right. Neither can any of the people who are saying such ugly things about me right now.
So why are they saying them? That's what really bothers me. Why are people who don't know me in any way saying things like I don't know anything about business, I'm ruining the Hippodrome, I don't know what I'm doing, I'm taking money from people, I'm screwing ticket-holders, and I'm associating with corrupt people. Of course none of that is true, but even if it were, they can't possibly know that. What leads people to say things like that?
See, years ago I decided never to talk about people in an abstract way to make a point about something else. In particular, I decided that in the context of preaching. Most of you know that I recently finished a Master of Divinity degree. And I have vowed never to talk about people the way I've heard some preachers do in sermons. They'll talk about celebrities' immoral lives in a tabloid way to make a point about living morally. That's not only wrong, it's offensive and perverse to me. People aren't object lessons. Not even famous people. Not even famous people that we think we know something about. They're people. That's not what people are for.
I think I'm learning something here too. I'm not sure I can articulate it yet. But I do know that the anonymity of the internet has primarily made people meaner and stupider than I would ever have believed possible. I hear a lot of discussion about the way online connectivity creates communities, but I'm skeptical. I don't think that you can know someone - really know them - without an in-person experience with them. Without having a cup of coffee with them. Without playing a game with them. Without shaking their hand or touching their shoulder. And I've realized that I haven't quite lived up to that realization. I talk about celebrities, authors, athletes, politicians, and such as if I actually know them. I comment on their decisions and criticize their work. And I don't think it's right. I don't think I can talk about Jerry Jones based on what he does with the Dallas Cowboys. At least not as a person. I can't say that he's an idiot or a genius. I don't think I can talk about President Obama that way either. I don't think I can label him or call him prudent or foolish. Perhaps I would do things differently than those men. Perhaps I'll have an opinion about their decisions, but I don't think I can talk about their persons anymore.
I'm not comparing myself to President Obama. I'm just saying that I've learned a few lessons here. I've also learned that I can't say anything that I won't sign my name to. Even if my intentions are good or my comments are constructive, it wouldn't be worthy of my integrity to leave a comment online with anything less than my name. Heck, I've been guilty of doing the opposite many times and recently. But no more. Under any circumstances. I can't do it for any reason, because to do so is really no different than what the trolls do, even if I'm saying constructive or positive things.
I don't think I'm done learning from this. And I'm not fishing for compliments or for anyone to stroke my ego. I'm a big enough boy that if that was what I wanted or needed, I'd ask for it. But I have no problem admitting that I'm hurt by all this. I'm truly doing my best and my utmost. And from now on, I think I'll make more active choices to believe that others are doing the same and refuse to speak about people whom I don't know.
I think I understand what it means to give someone the benefit of the doubt. I understand it because I've identified what that doubt is. I doubt that I know enough to have an opinion that could hurt someone's feelings or damage their self-worth. Therefore, I'll let them benefit from my doubt by refusing to speak into my potential ignorance. I'll forever doubt my certainty about others, and ensure that they benefit from not only my refusal to criticize, but my tacit respect.
From today's paper:
Saturday, March 21, 2009
By Carl Hoover
Tribune-Herald entertainment editor
The Waco Performing Arts Company filed suit Friday against the Greater Tuna Corporation, its agent, Roland Scahill, and the entertainment agencies the Gersh Agency and William Morris Agency for damages stemming from the three cancellations of the play “Tuna Does Vegas” this season.
The suit, filed in 170th State District Court, charges breach of contract, two counts of negligent or fraudulent misrepresentation and violation of the Texas Deceptive Trade Practices Act. The WPAC claimed the defendants’ actions cost the Hippodrome lost revenue for the approximately 2,100 tickets sold, money spent to market the show three times and print three sets of tickets, staff manpower spent in “Tuna”-related issues and revenue lost from subsequent shows that Baker had intended to promote to “Tuna” audiences.
No dollar amount was cited for the damages alleged, but Waco Performing Arts Company executive director Scott Baker estimated the financial loss to the Waco Hippodrome Theatre, which the WPAC manages, due to the three cancellations was “hundreds of thousands of dollars,” not to mention the intangibles of damage to the theater’s reputation and loss of patron goodwill.
The legal action followed the cancellation of the April 17-19 performances of “Tuna Does Vegas” on March 18 due to an apparent double-booking of the comedy at the La Mirada Theater in La Mirada, Calif. The two-man play is the fourth and latest in the series from Austin actors Jaston Williams and Joe Sears about the inhabitants of fictional Tuna, Texas’ “third-smallest” town.
The April dates for “Vegas” had been rescheduled after a cancellation of the show in January. That January run, in turn, had been rescheduled from an original Sept. 12-14 run of the two-man show, which was scratched in the aftermath of Hurricane Gustav affecting other “Tuna” dates.
The suit, filed by the WPAC’s attorney, Seth Sutton, contends Greater Tuna Corp. has no intention of playing the April dates, and that represents “anticipatory breach of contract.” The misrepresentation charges concern information Baker says Scahill gave him that led to the WPAC’s cancellation of the five-performance runs in September and January.
“The Hippodrome did due diligence at every step of the way,” Sutton said.
Reached late Friday at his New York office, Scahill replied via e-mail, “We have had to reschedule the show, and hoped to work out things amicably with our friends in Waco but couldn’t abide by their deadlines, and still hope to play at a mutually agreeable time. But I would prefer to discuss the situation in full detail with you on Monday.”
Williams, who contended in an interview earlier this week that the “Tuna” company had no intention to return to the Hippodrome, was not reached for comment late Friday. His statement surprised many Hippodrome officials and Waco fans who noted the “Tuna” company had enjoyed enthusiastic audiences each time a “Tuna” production played at the Waco theater.
Williams and Sears, in fact, came to Waco to perform a special set of fundraising “Tuna” performances to help the Hippodrome during a 2005 financial crisis.
Included in the suit is a copy of a March 25, 2008, short-form contract or “deal memo,” signed by Scahill, that set five performances of “Tuna Does Vegas” by Tuna Does Vegas LLC on Sept. 12-14 at the Hippodrome, specifying advertising expenses and arrangements and a net potential revenue if all seats sell at the listed ticket prices.
Deal memos usually are followed by a long contract signed by both parties that contains the agreements in the memo, plus additional details such as technical specifications and other arrangements.
Baker said he signed the long contract but that it was not returned. That wasn’t a problem, he said.
“I have done shows with only short forms before, and there was no indication (Greater Tuna) had problems with the long contract,” Baker said, adding he had received e-mail communications from the play’s technical staff afterward indicating an intent to perform at the Hippodrome.
“The contract we have is a good, solid legal contract. Every step we negotiated in good faith at their request, not mine,” Baker said.
“Waco needs to be treated in the same way that Houston, Chicago, Dallas and New York City are treated.”
Here's the first update after a very stressful and hectic day:
Waco Performing Arts Company files suit against ‘Greater Tuna’ organizers
By Carl Hoover | Friday, March 20, 2009, 06:13 PM
The Waco Performing Arts Company filed suit Friday against the Greater Tuna Corporation, its agent Roland Scahill, the Gersh Agency and William Morris Agency for damages stemming from the three cancellations of the Greater Tuna play “Tuna Does Vegas” this season.
The suit, filed in 170th State District Court, charges breach of contract, two counts of negligent or fraudulent misrepresentation and violation of the Texas Deceptive Trade Practices Act.
No dollar amount was cited for the damages alleged, but Waco Performing Arts Company Executive Director Scott Baker estimated the financial loss to the Waco Hippodrome Theatre, which the WPAC manages, due to the three cancellations was “hundreds of thousands of dollars.”
The legal action followed the WPAC’s cancellation of the April 17-19 performances of “Tuna Does Vegas” on Wednesday due to an apparent double-booking of the comedy at the La Mirada Theater in La Mirada, Calif.
The April dates, in turn, had been rescheduled after a cancellation of the show in January. That January run of “Tuna Does Vegas,” in turn, had been rescheduled from an original Sept. 12-14 run of the two-man show, which was scratched in the aftermath of Hurricane Gustav.
Well, folks, I've done it again. Back in the news. Only this time, I'd rather not. Here's what you need to know before reading the story: I live my life in such a way as to never be involved in a lawsuit. That said, since I now find myself in one, as the plaintiff, I have done absolutely everything right. I have the side of truth. I have a mountain of evidence. The opposition has absolutely no case.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
By Carl Hoover
Tribune-Herald entertainment editor
Managers of the Waco Hippodrome Theatre have for the third time canceled a scheduled performance this season of “Tuna Does Vegas” and say they’ll take the theater group behind the stage comedy to court.
The Waco Performing Arts Company, manager of the Hippodrome, began Wednesday notifying ticket holders to “Tuna Does Vegas” of the cancellation, claiming the show’s company has refused to scratch its April 17-19 performances in La Mirada, Calif., so it can perform in Waco. Those April dates had been approved by WPAC for a rescheduled Hippodrome run of the popular comedy.
“It’s cost us hard cash in marketing and (ticket) refunds. . . . We’ve lost the good will of our patrons, money, promotion and income,” said WPAC board president Hap Nielsen, explaining the board’s March 5 decision to approve legal action against the “Tuna” theater company. “It’s an aggravation to all of us.”
"Tuna Does Vegas," starring Jaston Williams (left) and Joe Sears, has been canceled at the Waco Hippodrome Theatre for the third time.
Austin actor Jaston Williams, who with actor Joe Sears created and performs all of the characters in the four “Tuna” plays, bristled at the suggestion of a lawsuit, claiming “Tuna” company members made it clear after their last Waco appearance that they’d never play the Hippodrome again.
“This makes me so angry to hear that. We did a huge fundraiser for these people to save that theater,” said Williams by phone from Austin. “We made it clear after the last time we were there that we were not going to play the Hippodrome again: It’s too small.”
“Tuna Does Vegas,” the fourth and latest comedy about the inhabitants of fictional small-town Tuna, Texas, was scheduled to open the Hippodrome’s fall schedule in September. After Hurricane Ike forced cancellation of several “Tuna” performances near the Gulf Coast, Hippodrome officials agreed to reschedule the Waco dates for January at the request of “Tuna’s” booking agent, WPAC Executive Director Scott Baker said.
Those January dates then were moved to April after company representatives claimed damage to costumes while in storage would prevent the Waco performances, Baker said. Beginning in February, however, callers to the Hippodrome’s offices advised its staff that “Tuna’s” Web site was listing performances in California on the dates reportedly promised to Waco.
Baker stopped sales of “Tuna Does Vegas” tickets in February until the situation could be clarified, but he said calls and e-mails to agent Richard Scahill of New York-based Gersh Agency went unanswered for days. Scahill finally communicated with Baker in early March but failed to reply when the WPAC director demanded written notice of cancellation of the California dates by March 9 or legal action would follow, Baker said.
“ ‘Tuna’s’ pattern of uncertainty, broken promises and refusal to assure us the April show will go on has left WPAC no choice but to cancel the show,” Baker wrote Hippodrome ticket holders.
Williams, however, said the “Tuna” company had no intention of performing at the Hippodrome this season. The September dates booked for “Tuna Does Vegas” had been approved with the thinking that “Waco Performing Arts Company” was a larger venue, he said. “I think it’s a case of bait-and-switch,” he charged.
Baker, however, countered that he has a signed contract for those September performances, although the WPAC signed but never received back contracts for the January and April rescheduled runs.
“With all due respect, I have a signed contract for those September dates. . . . Someone’s lying, and it’s not me,” he said.
Baker said the now-triple “Tuna” cancellations had damaged the Hippodrome’s 2008-09 operating budget and its reputation with its patrons, and impending legal action would address that. He did not specify what legal action would be pursued or the amount of damages sought, however, on advice of counsel, he said.
Baker said the theater had sold approximately 2,100 tickets for the five “Tuna Does Vegas” performances scheduled for April. Ticket holders can request a full or partial refund through the theater’s box office, but in a letter sent to those with tickets, which is posted on the WPAC Web site, the executive director urged them to pass up a refund and consider the tickets a tax-deductible donation.
“Our situation is critical, and we need the assistance of all ticket holders to overcome this challenge in order to continue to bring the high level of entertainment that we all enjoy and expect,” he wrote.
Those wanting information on refunds can call the Hippodrome box office at (254) 752-9797.
Nielsen said the board had considered seeking a loan to cover a cash-flow crunch earlier this year but would take a wait-and-see attitude, with several upcoming productions this month and next bringing revenue to the theater.
“It will depend how generous the hearts of Waco Performing Arts Company patrons are,” he said.
Moral of the story: Don't mess with Waco. Don't treat my patrons like dirt. Don't go back on your word. Don't violate your contract with me. And, most obviously, don't lie to me or the press when I've got a signed contract and have documented every single step of the issue.
I hate this. But I will do what is necessary. And I will do the right thing.
The following conversation is brought to you excerpted by Gmail chat:
Forky: Holy crap! It's midnight in the City that Never Sleeps.
Cach: In that case, I fail to see the emergency.
Forky: You have a point...
Forky: ...I hate that I can't see or hear the word HOPE anymore without it being colored!
Cach: Oh, Forky… that’s terrible…
Forky: No, wait… I didn’t mean… ha!...
Cach: ...We can only be clear about our message and know ourselves. We must know what "good theatre" means. For ourselves. And communicate it to the best of our ability. Right?
Forky: Yes. But you're stuck if some idiot sees Mamma Mia and thinks it's good.
Cach: Or RENT.
Forky: Now, it may just be because he hasn't been exposed to good theatre so he has nothing to judge it by. Or he may have just been in the mood for a dumb time with dumb songs in a dumb show. Or he may actually think it's good because he's an idiot.
Cach: Or because we are miserable failures at teaching ourselves that degradation and immorality is not entertaining.
Forky: It is when you set it to 'Dancing Queen,' Cach.
It was awesome. Beeki and I are excited about moving there. Now all we need to do is sell our house and find jobs. Any leads?
Also, I got my official rejection notice from Stanford. They're now on my blacklist. They'll be sorry.
While in Nashville, we hung out a lot with Chaotic and Mrs. Hammer and with Stephen. We even engaged Hammer and Stephen in a few games of Speed Scrabble.
Beeki didn't win this game. She thought it ironic that it included the words "lost, drat, sin, quit, and bust."
Everyone found this board of mine amusing. It was later titled "Wet Hand Jerk."
Forky: They told us to take a water break, but there was no water fountain, so if we didn't bring a water bottle, we were screwed.
Cach: Did you bring water?
Forky: No, but I brought a jumbo cheeseburger from McDonalds.
Cach: ... I think that may be the opposite of water.
