Nurse Ratched

Posted by Anonymous On 11:05 PM

I tried to give blood yesterday. I say "tried" because I did not succeed. I did not do anything wrong. I lied there and let them put needles in me. So what went wrong?

I got a rookie. I always get the rookie. I don't mind, really. I understand that everyone needs practice. I want to help people become good nurses. We need good nurses. And I'm not very picky, I have a high pain tolerance, and I can deal with a rookie without getting uncomfortable.

But for the love of cake, supervise THEM!

The chick who was sticking me kept messing with the needle, jabbing it in and out, moving it around and touching it. So naturally, my vein closed up and they couldn't get a full donation. And if you can't get a full donation, they can't use any of it. So my time, my arm, and my blood were all wasted. Now I can't give again for 8 weeks.

But the real bad part is that my arm is all swollen and bruised. I totally look like a dope fiend. So now my goal is to figure out the best response to people noticing what looks like my drug problem. Do I start yelling, then apologize softly and walk away mumbling to myself? Do I get all paranoid and pretend not to notice what people are talking about? Do I get excited and ask if they've got any of the good stuff? What do you think?

Don't get me wrong, I love giving blood. And I encourage you all to do it. Just be sure to avoid the rookies...

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11 Cachinnations

  1. Tracy Said,

    You're such a cool citizen of humanity, Cach...I appreciate that about you.

    Posted on 9/26/2007

     
  2. euphrony Said,

    Oooohhhh! I hate getting the newbie stickers. My veins are a little deep, and a well-trained phlebotomist will get the needle in and my donation out with little problem. BUT, several years ago I had the same think happen - they stuck the needle in my arm, missed, tried again, wiggled it around, tried again, gave up and went to the other arm, repeated the whole process and finally managed to get a full donation. I was left with both arms black and blue for a week.

    I gave blood on Monday, and the girl had a problem with the needle slipping out of the vein when she tried to walk away - took about three tries to get the needle and tubing positioned just right so that it stayed put.

    When I have a doctor tell me he needs a blood sample, I immediately ask for the most experienced nurse to draw the sample. I hate when the have to resort to using the butterfly needle in the back of my hand (more painful) or in the knuckle (much more painful) to get blood simply because they didn't listen to me as to which arm and which vein in the arm to try for. I've done this a hundred times, and I do know something about my body, so please listen!

    Posted on 9/26/2007

     
  3. FancyPants Said,

    You say: "For the love of CAKE, GIVE ME SOME DRUGS, MAN!"

    Posted on 9/26/2007

     
  4. Anonymous Said,

    Fancy, do I then insist, "Water! Back! On! Now!"?

    Posted on 9/26/2007

     
  5. Moderator Said,

    I only do it for the juice and cookies they give away afterwords.

    Posted on 9/26/2007

     
  6. Anonymous Said,

    Oh, I got my damned Capri Sun. Shoo...

    Posted on 9/26/2007

     
  7. Jenn Said,

    they always drool over me. I have very easy veins to find, but they collapse them fast, followed by me passing out (no joke, I'm needlephobic). I resort to being the lady who passes out juice and cookies.

    Posted on 9/26/2007

     
  8. Anonymous Said,

    sounds like somebody needs a peanut butter and crack sandwich...

    Posted on 9/26/2007

     
  9. Douglas Said,

    I had a similar experience with a newbie phlebotomist once. After spending some time digging in my vein, the kid finally found a spot that flowed. However, it was right near a valve and the blood flow fluctuated the entire donation period. I was ~1% shy when the blood finally clotted in the needle and they had to throw out everything they had collected. I've had better luck since moving to New Mexico. I haven't had anybody dig for a couple years now.

    MB

    Posted on 9/27/2007

     
  10. FancyPants Said,

    Cach, yes and then you morph right before their eyes into SuperWaterBoy and a great rushing geyser rises beneath you and carries you away as you shout, "Don't worry! The bruises are only remnants of my superhero fight this morning! Water...Away!"

    Posted on 9/27/2007

     
  11. Seth Ward Said,

    I think you should mumble something like, "oh my wife... she only gets a little strange on the sundays when the pastor starts talking about Jesus casting out demons... she doesn't mean it."

    btw, Plasma pays waaaaaaay more.

    Posted on 10/03/2007