A bit of background information:

Forky, (see photo below), was having trouble with his family. He was headed home for the holidays and was sick and tired of hearing old relatives ask him questions about when he was going to give up acting and get a real job. They thought all he did was play and that he needed to "buckle down."


So he decided to make a t-shirt that said, "I Demand to be Taken Seriously." He brought the t-shirt and iron-on letters over to my place, The Bakery, and arranged them for production. Except that he left a letter out and instead spelled out, "I Demad to be Taken Seriously." I suggested that may undercut his bid for respect, but that it would be the height of good comedy.

Ultimately, I don't know what happened to the shirt.

More background information:

We're pretty sure my mother smokes crack. Behold Exhibits A, B, C, and D.

Background over.

Okay. I say all that to tell this story: Yesterday was my mother, Crackhead's, birthday. As my gift to her I was installing the wireless router and receiving card that I had bought her so she could move the family computer downstairs. This was an excellent gift seeing as how Crackhead still can't properly operate a VCR. While I was installing we chatted.

I'm not sure how it came up, but I mentioned that Forky was playing the ukulele. The following conversation ensued... I kid you not...:

Crackhead: A ukulele? What's that? Is that a banjo?

Cach: Ummm... no, it's a ukulele.

Crackhead: Wait, isn't that what Tiny Tim played?

Cach: No, I think Tiny Tim played a crutch.

Crackhead: No, not that Tiny Tim. The one who married Miss Vickie on Johnny Carson.

Cach: ... (Looks at sister, tries not to laugh.) Is this some kind of convoluted Muppet thing that you've got going on?

Crackhead: No! He was tall and played the ukulele.

Cach: I thought you didn't know what a ukulele was.

Then the following video was made:



For comparison's sake, I did some research and found the original. The resemblance is actually frightening:



I think we must respond to this in two ways:

1. Pray for me.

2. We must begin a petition process to insist that Forky learn "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" on his ukulele for his forthcoming album "Forkulele." In fact, I think we must demad that he do so. If you agree, please leave a comment that says "I Demad That Forky Learn Tiptoe Through the Tulips." Feel free to leave it in the comments on his blog too. Let's show the world our power. Demad it.