So Valentine's Day is coming up. I, being as romantic as I am, have some great gift ideas for you all. Most of these are taken from my real life, and yes you can feel free to steal them.

Make the everyday into something special. For example, a while back, Beeki told me to re-order her contacts. So I did. They came in a week ago, but I stashed them. Now her old ones are drying out and starting to burn. She thinks I'm insensitive and lazy, but boy will she be surprised when they turn up on her nightstand later this week!

Buy her a stunning gift. I recommend the Jane Seymour thing from Kay. The one that looks like two butts.

Do something she wouldn't expect. I'm thinking: laundry.

Prepare a romantic meal for her. If you're as busy as I am, and your wife is as busy as Beeki is, chances are this is one suggestion on which you can cut corners. So long as you never actually say, "I cooked this for you," and instead stick with, "I prepared this for you," it's technically not lying if you put Italian take-out on a plate, mess up a bunch of dishes, and take credit for it.

Learn something new that she won't see coming. In my case, I'm about to unveil to Beeki that I've learned how to make money. (I don't actually have this one prepared yet. If any of you have some advice to offer here, please email me. I've only got a few days left.)

Beeki's a lucky woman.