I was all set to do a serious post, but something inside of me just wouldn't let it happen. So instead, I thought I'd bring you all into a conversation that Beeki and I had over the summer with our friends the Fancheros.
We were on our way to Six Flags when we began discussing all the different things that we could do with our Season Passes. I suggested Astroworld, but Beeki was quick to note that it was closed. "Closed?" said I. Indeed it was. She went on to tell us that one of the primary reasons for the closing was an abundance of gang violence in the park. Though Six Flags officially cites financial hardship among similar reasons for its closing, I had heard similar rumors about gang violence.
As usual, this got your friendly neighborhood Cachinnator thinking...
"What the crap?"
So I started imagining what this 'gang violence' in Astroworld looked like. Did the various gangs stake out areas of the park? Did they claim certain rides? Did they adopt Looney Toons characters as their mascots?
Do they taunt each other? Do they have turf wars? Does Coca-Cola sponsor a gang and Pepsi another one?
What does their trash talk sound like?
"Get the hell out my Teacups, bi-atch. Oh, snap."
"I'm goin' Wile E. Coyote on his ass. Acme and everything, yo."
"I know you ain't talkin' 'bout my 'coaster, fool."
What do you think? What else might Gangsta Astroworld sound and look like?
|
9 Cachinnations
I think you have to much time on your hands and are having to much fun on Photoshop!!
"Yosemite Sam ain't got sh** on me yo...i'm Hard Core...West Side (that's the side with greased lightening)"
Posted on 9/29/2006
Yeah, man, I herrd Tweety got outta da clink, but Sylvesta's been all ovah his ass since he got out.
Posted on 9/30/2006
It wasn't so much the gangs but the cruddy state of the roller coasters and just all-around dirt.
I got off on roller coaster ride and thought they should re-name the ride to "back-injury-screamer"
It is a wonder mass amounts of people didn't meet their death before the place closed.
btw, if you stop by H-town and not say hi... we shall be miffed.
Isn't that a Garth Brooks song???
Posted on 9/30/2006
Word to your motha'.
Posted on 9/30/2006
I'm not sure if I like the new blog set up...
Posted on 10/01/2006
Bear with me, sucka. I'm experimenting.
Posted on 10/01/2006
I like it better.
Posted on 10/01/2006
Thanks for the AstroWorld memories. I get kind of sentimental, because I think the coasters there gave me my first chance to accidentally traumatize my kids.
The gang thing probably explains why we were robbed, on the way out, by Hekyll and Jekyll.
Brant
Posted on 10/02/2006
I heard about the shutdown of AstroWorld several months ago. Very sad to me.
I won't go into any detail here (though I very easily could), but I'll just say that old AstroWorld, the way it used to be, is a very wonderful place in my childhood memories. I even had about three or four summers in a row when I got Season Passes, and literally spent about every other day all summer long hanging out there.
But that gives you an idea how much things have changed -- my best friend and I could always talk his mom or mine into dropping us off there for the day, and back then they didn't even think twice about safety, or us getting into trouble, or being abducted, or whatever.
I guess the whole state of things, and the way everything regressed, just represents a loss of innocence, on so many levels.
Posted on 10/03/2006