Thank you, James Cameron!

Posted by Anonymous On 12:57 AM

Cachinnatees, I don't know what to say. James Cameron will be holding a press conference Monday to announce that he's dug up Jesus.

That's right, the director of Piranha 2: The Spawning is prepared to close the books on 2,000 years of Christianity.

This is the same man who, along with his "director", flew in the face of archeology, history, theology, scholarship, literature, and common sense to "explain" the Exodus.

The man who spent $200,000,000 and only had Titanic to show for it is joining forces with Dan Brown to tell us that Jesus married Mary Magdalene and had kids.

The genius behind Dark Angel is prepared to dwarf the experiences and intellects of St. John, Josephus, Tacitus, Augustine, Clement, Seutonius, and Pliny among others, who, (even though they may all appear to be in a much better time and place to make such observations), seem to have skimmed over the parts about Jesus' tomb burial in a family crypt along with the family that none of them bothered to write about.

The visionary who birthed True Lies will, no doubt, give the lie to the lies that are taken as truths in another great "documentary."

So, thank you, James Cameron. Thank you for setting straight the course of history. Thank you for keeping me from wasting another second of my life listening to anyone but you. And thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule of shaping Earth's artistic landscape to shape its historical and theological landscapes as well. Thanks, Jimbo.

, , , , | edit post

6 Cachinnations

  1. Seth Ward Said,

    Dumb. Not even worth the effort for an argument. DNA testing? Comparing to the ... gum Jesus was chewing before he died? If this is a reflection of the credibility of these guys, I am chunking the Exodus decoded in the can.

    Posted on 2/25/2007

     
  2. Anonymous Said,

    Chunk away, friend. Chunk away.

    Anyone else think Cameron could have chosen better timing for the press conference than the middle of Lent? At this point, I'm willing to chalk it up to cluelessness instead of evil. (Seriously... read that article again. Clueless.)

    Posted on 2/25/2007

     
  3. The Cliff Said,

    and to think that I've wasted all my time studying and learning all about the history and importance of the Christian faith when I could have asked the archeological GENIUS behind Titanic!! I wonder if he used the same cool submarine camera thingies that he used to show the REALLY OLD LADY the rooms of Titanic??

    question for Seth...is that gum Jesus chewed available on ebay along with the Grilled Cheese sandwich with mary's face on it?? I bet if you chewed that gum you'd be able to walk on water...or at least turn water to wine at a party where all your friends drank all the wine in the city!!

    Posted on 2/25/2007

     
  4. Anonymous Said,

    your keys and character description are posted on my blog

    Posted on 2/25/2007

     
  5. Chaotic Hammer Said,

    You people are all wrong about this.

    I saw it on CSI once. You can like, tell stuff, about the past from DNA that we couldn't tell before. Of course they will not be using chewing gum. It's like, much more obvious than that.

    They are going to take some hair and polyester fibers from the crime scene of Jesus and compare it to the Mummy of Jesus.

    It's just too bad that the Jews and Romans of Jesus' day didn't have this technology back in their day. 'Cuz then they could have disproven Christianity right from the beginning, and we wouldn't have had to wait 2000 years for someone today to like totally reveal the real truth behind everything and stuff.

    I'm sure back then, they were all like thinking "Dude, who is that extra guy buried with all the relatives of Jesus? I wish we had DNA so we could like prove stuff."

    Posted on 2/26/2007

     
  6. AmberO at Sleeping is for Sissies Said,

    "spent $200,000,000 and only had Titanic to show for it"--that pretty much says all you need to know right there. Nicely put.

    Posted on 2/26/2007