Not that you didn't know, Cachinnatees, but I'm a very important man. So it was no surprise recently that I was invited to a big groundbreaking on a big new building downtown. Here's what the ceremony looked like:



I was fairly unable to concentrate though because I kept imagining how entertaining it would be for a streaker to sprint across the stage. Didn't happen though. Oh, well.

Then there's this lovely local plague:



Just in case you can't read it, it says, "Ass Kickiin' Rebel Bitch" set against a lovely background of a Confederate flag. I don't know about you, but nothing makes me want to get to know a girl like that kind of advertising. I always try to convince myself that maybe people who put ignorant-ass garbage like that on their vehicles or clothing are just being ironic... but in my experience I'm yet to meet someone who defends such obtuseness and also has a sense of irony.

Who thinks this is a good advertisement for themselves? That's what bumper stickers are, after all. That's why I don't use them. If I could boil my life down into a one-liner, I'd be begging you to beat me so I could at least talk about that instead. That sticker was the only one on her car. That's who she is? Ugh. I can't even talk about it anymore.