The Don Gets Hitched

Posted by Anonymous On 10:24 AM

Cachinnatees, quite possibly the only mystery left in the universe is before us: Don Boscoe is getting married. This oddity of life and humanity ranks well above my own nuptuals, (which are easily explained via booze and diamonds), and well above other enigmas such as the Sphinx, the artist behind the friezes of the Parthenon, and the success of Two and a Half Men.

As if the existential dilemma created by his marriage in concept weren't enough, there's his bride to take into consideration. She's pretty, and normal, and sweet, and talented, and smart, and great! Like I said, mysteries of the universe...

So anyway, they're getting married this weekend. Since he won't be paying much attention to the blogging world as the day approaches, I think we should all take the time now to congratulate him on what can only be described as a Faustian success and then provide the happy couple with the most embarrassing advice possible. Shall we?

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10 Cachinnations

  1. Tracy Said,

    Congratulations, Don Boscoe!!!

    Posted on 6/05/2007

     
  2. Anonymous Said,

    That's sweet, Starshine, but you forgot the embarrassing advice.

    I'll start: If at first you don't succeed - try, try again. It worked in Kindergarten, it will work on your honeymoon.

    Posted on 6/05/2007

     
  3. FancyPants Said,

    I can't think of any embarrassing advice that doesn't 1) sound extrememly crude or 2) embarrass myself, so....

    Congratulations, Don Boscoe!!!

    (Tell Elizabeth to pee after each "try" to avoid bladder infection on the honeymoon.)

    There.

    Posted on 6/05/2007

     
  4. Anonymous Said,

    Extremely crude is more than acceptable. I'm reminded of the "advice" my grandfather gave me right before my wedding...

    I still wake up with cold sweats sometimes...

    Posted on 6/05/2007

     
  5. Chaotic Hammer Said,

    Congratulations to Don Boscoe and D&D Beffy. May you have a long and prosperous life together!

    As for advice -- Top Ten Things Not to Say on Your Wedding Night:

    10. You woke me up for that?
    9. Do you smell something burning?
    8. Hurry up! This room rents by the hour.
    7. Try breathing through your nose.
    6. On second thought, let's turn off the lights.
    5. Smile, you're on Candid Camera!
    4. I think you have it on backwards.
    3. This would be fun with a few more people.
    2. You're good enough to do this for a living!
    1. This doesn't seem quite the same as it looked on that web site.

    Posted on 6/05/2007

     
  6. Sarah Said,

    Better grab my coat since Hell is freezing over this weekend.

    My advice to Boscoe: Let her be gross when she needs to be gross. You'll find out what I'm talking about soon enough.

    Posted on 6/05/2007

     
  7. Anonymous Said,

    My advice for don boscoe is to NEVER EVER let her see your underwear with skidmarks in them, it will destroy tons of romantic properties. Please use babywipes at all times, buy them in bulk

    Posted on 6/05/2007

     
  8. Seth Ward Said,

    Don't ever let her convince you that tooting is a mental disorder.

    Posted on 6/06/2007

     
  9. Jenn Said,

    I still think he looks like Chris Martin (of Coldplay fame). I've said it a million times but I can't stop saying it.

    Good for him..and her. (throwing rice even as we speak)

    Posted on 6/06/2007

     
  10. Meg Said,

    I love the Faust reference. But I think Don Boscoe might have gotten the better end of that deal and has short-changed the devil. :-)

    No advice though. Just lots of congratulations.

    Posted on 6/07/2007