All children grow up, Cachinnatees. And now it's time for me to face the loss of my beloved intern, Clay. (See here, and here.) Until recently, it had been determined that he didn't deserve the dignity of a proper name, so we just called him The Temp. He might have been accorded more respect except for his poor taste in theatrical programming. (See here and here.)
What's that? You think I'm being too harsh on him? Consider the following recent converstation:
Temp: I have to get back by 7:00pm to watch the All-Around.
Cach: Dude, you could just DVR it.
Temp: Oh, I totally did. I probably shouldn't tell you about the crush I have on Shawn Johnson.
Cach: The gymnast!?
Temp: Yeah.
Cach: The child gymnast!?
Temp: She's not that young!
Cach: Oh, my gosh, Temp. And you've been DVRing gymnastics? Tell the truth, how many hours have you spent staring at the child gymnast's ass?
Temp: She'll be legal in a year! We almost have the same birthday! We're both Capricorns!
Cach: Okay... just the fact that you know her birthday...
Temp: January 19? And that I know what's playing on her iPod?
Cach: I don't even know what to say...
So you see? I don't go looking for ways to pick on him. I don't have to. He gift-wraps those opportunities. And speaking of gift wrapping opportunities, he just sent me a graduation notice. What he was unable to prevent though was his mom slipping a Glamour Shots-esque photo into the notice that was sent to me. I present it to you now:
"As I gaze into the future, my future with Shawn,I can't help but wonder what Cach will do with the
fact that I just said "gays" and "future with Shawn"
without providing enough surrounding context..."
Now, as fun as it is to just leave the photo as it is, I thought we'd have a bit more fun with it. God bless Photoshop.
"My, My, My, My Sharona..."Now it's your turn. First, I need you to vote in the new poll on the right. We're going to determine what the next step Temp will take in life is. Also, feel free to submit your own Photoshopped graduation photo of Temp or an alternate caption for the photo.
But at the end of the day, I think he has finally earned a more proper name. Henceforth, he shall ever be known as Clay the Intern. Enjoy, people, and congratulations, Clay the Intern.
1 Comment
The Dada Drummer thinks that The Intern is thinking deep thoughts. Like....
"To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no
choreography and the dancers hit each other."
OR
"It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting that money."
**The Drummer now owes $5.00 in royalties to SNL but it was worth it! **
Posted on 8/15/2008