The following conversation comes to you via Gmail chat. Enjoy.

Forky: So I may not be coming to Texas. Because I may be playing a girl in some play. Dammit.
Cach: I don't know what to do with that statement. Except quote it.
Forky: Apparently I'm the only dude in New York who can act like a woman without it coming off like bad drag.
Cach: Is that a compliment?
Forky: I have no freakin' idea. So yeah ..... I'm playing a girl.
Cach: For sure?
Forky: It was just confirmed. I'm playing the lead. The leading lady.
Cach: And that's more important than coming to see me and Beeki in Waco?
Forky: This is New York we're talking about, Cach. Of course it is.
Cach: How do you expect me to break the news to Bert and Ernie?
Forky: I don't know. Lie.
Cach: You're a cold hearted bastard, Forky.
Forky: What else can I do?!
Cach: Just do the right thing, Forky. That's all I ask.
Forky: Sometimes...sometimes the right thing is the most wrong thing you can do.
Cach: Sophistry.
Forky: Don't you see, Cach? It's finally happened!
Cach: All your dreams of being a woman in New York have finally come true?
Forky: I'm finally getting the opportunity to do what I've always worked for. Yes. I finally get to be the leading lady in a big Off-Broadway show! Off-(mumbleOffmumble) Broadway!!
Cach: So what is this show?
Forky: The Rape of the Lock.
Cach: Mmm hmm...
Forky: SHUT UP! Justin Jones would know what I'm talking about! Doofus! Read a BOOK!
Cach: "Bert and Ernie, I'd like to sing you a little song. It's called 'Cat's in the Cradle...'"
Forky: ........ I'm sure I don't know WHAT you're talking about.
Cach: "Of course Forky likes you, Beeki. I know that you don't have any proof or anything. And I know he sure doesn't act like it. But you're just going to have to trust me..."
Forky: ........ LEADING LADY! Here's a picture of me in the show! I'm beautiful! It's what I've always wanted!
Cach: "Don't worry, Fork Family Manse, Forky really does treasure all the years he spent living in you. It's not your fault..."
Forky: Why can't you be happy for me?! Why can't you JUST BE HAPPY?!
Cach: Because this is waaaaay more fun.
Forky: You're a b-tard!
Cach: "No, Texas, I'm sure Forky hasn't completely abandoned you to pretend he's someone else..."
Forky: I knew you'd never understand. This is who I AM, Scott.
Cach: ???
Forky: And if you can't just be happy for me then...then...
Cach: I'm watching Heroes. Heros? Heroes? How do you spell that?
Forky: Heros are delicious sandwiches.
Cach: So are Heroes.
Forky: No. Heroes are people. Or very brave dogs.
Cach: I'm a hero.
Forky: Are you delicious? Or a dog?
Cach: You'll have to come to Texas to know the truth.
Forky: I'll tell you one thing you're not.
Cach: Asian?
Forky: A cyborg.
Cach: An Asian cyborg?
Forky: I didn't say that.
Cach: So you're saying there's a chance...?
Forky: No. You're totally Asian.
Cach: Don't you mean "Asian American?"
Forky: No. You're totally Oriental.
Cach: *gasp!!!* I'm reporting you.
Forky: DO IT! YOU CAN'T TOUCH ME! I'M ABOUT TO BECOME A FAMOUS ACTRESS!
Cach: Hey, you'd be safe if you were here in Texas! But up in NYC they don't take kindly to your kind of hate.
Forky: Actually, they do.
Cach: The NYC hate police will be picketing your show. I'm getting Westboro to picket your show.
Forky: GOOD! That'll ensure our success!
Cach: I need a vacation.
Forky: That's funny. I need a vagina. Not for me. It's for a friend.
Cach: This whole conversation's going on my blog.
Forky: Yeah. Yeah. I don't blame you.
Forky: So yes. The Judith Shakespeare Company.
Cach: The Jewish Shakespeare Company? What do they do "The Merchant of Venice" every night?
Forky: Judith. Jew-DITH. It's a gender-swapping company. Formed so chicks could play Hamlet. What they forgot is that now men would have to play all the female roles.
Cach: And so you could play Juliet?
Forky: Precisely. Which is actually kinda cool. Because I FINALLY get to show up all the women who have no clue how to perform female characters.
Cach: Haven't you worked for them before?
Forky: I don't think so. I don't know how they had my headshot and rez. But they did.
Cach: Maybe I worked for them.
Forky: They called me in all special-like.
Cach: You know, the whole time I was in NYC I was on crack. I don't remember most of it. I could have worked for them. Maybe I gave them your h/s and res. Or maybe they saw that picture of you I have tattooed on my butt...
Forky: You know, that's probably exactly what happened.
Cach: I ought to get your resume tattooed on the other cheek. Then I would be the most memorable agent in the biz.
Forky: Yes. Yes you would.
Cach: "I'd like to discuss my client..." *zip* "Who's Fo.rky?" "Oh, that's just a mole. His name's Forky."
Forky: What would you do if you got more than one client?
Cach: What? You think your career won't work out? Are you trying to ruin me?
Forky: Well, I mean. No!! I'm just...I'm just saying.
Cach: Why do you hate me? Why do you want my wife and kids to starve? What have you got against my children?
Forky: Umm. They're Jewish. Okay, it's bedtime. And by "bedtime" I mean "play video games with the lights off for an hour"
Cach: Jewish like your theatre company?
Forky: Jew-DITH.
Cach: Okay. Goodnight.
Forky: Okaybye.