Well, Cachinnatees, I decided to give the movies another try. I really enjoyed 300 last weekend and I wanted to see it without all the pudding-brained fools. So I followed your advice and went to a matinée. It was much better! I really liked the movie. I may give a fuller review later, but suffice it to say that it was a wonderfully consistent interpretation of the Battle of Thermopolae. It is not a realistic representation, nor does it attempt to be. For my eyes, it is to the historical epic what Moulin Rouge is the movie musical. Good stuff.
But... there was a problem. Another mother who couldn't have been more than 20 had her infant child at the movie with her!!! At 300!!! What in the world is going the freak on here?!?! How can anyone possibly think that it's appropriate to bring young children to a movie like that? And there was another lady who had her kid who couldn't have been more than 8 years old! (And 250 lbs.)
Now, there are two distinct problems here. The first is how are we as a society not doing a good enough job of setting standards of societal norms that imbue people with the common sense that says a violent and graphic Rated R movie is not the place for a child? I know that everyone in the country knows that Rated R means you're not allowed in unless accompanied by a parent. Why do these imbeciles think those ratings exist? I'm not saying that there aren't Rated R movies that would be okay for a parent to take a child to under the right circumstances; (a parent taking a teenager to see Saving Private Ryan comes to mind.) But apart from that, why the freak do those ratings exist to these people who take their toddlers to see them?!? How is that okay?
And beyond that, (and here's where I may be stepping on some toes), why are people with babies going to the movie theater anyway? Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't having a baby mean that you just don't get to go to the movies for a while? Or that you can't go until you can leave the kid with a babysitter? It's not a punishment thing; it's just that when you have kids... doesn't doing what you want to do kinda take a backseat to... ummm... everything else? Am I off?
So after the movie, Sisser, Crackhead, The Colonel and I went to Red Lobster. It was filled with your usual assortment of freaks and weirdos... and we fit right in. I'm telling you, Cachinnatees, I know you don't believe me, but studying my family would have changed the face of Freud's life's work. I give you some random sequences from dinner:
In this first clip, The Colonel makes lemonade, Crackhead is her usual self, and Sisser tries to insist that she was adopted. I'm pretty sure there's a Jeff Foxworthy joke somewhere in the lemonade part. Behold:
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It wasn't until she stuck out her tongue at me that Crackhead realized she was having her picture taken. She still didn't realize it was a video...
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Believe it or not... it had only begun to get weird. In this clip, The Colonel insists that Sisser isn't eating all the shrimp off her shrimp tails. Then Crackhead comes up with a new name for the tails and out of nowhere, completely devoid of context, she insists that we have a "marathon." Again, I swear to you that this is completely spontaneous. I couldn't script this if I tried.
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And finally... we have the food fight. There were children around our table staring at us. I'm sure we were the source of many good how-not-to-behave-in-public lectures. Sisser continues to try, and fail, to pretend like she's not really there.
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And now, Cachinnatees, do you all have a little better picture of why I refer to myself as "the normal one?" Pray for us.
10 Cachinnations
I am not sure about taking older kids, but infants...I see that alot. My sister-in-law actually looks forward to a baby (she has had 3 now) sleeping standard length naps so she can take them to the movie with her. Of course, she does immediately get up if the baby gets fussy. I'm on the fence about it. I don't have a baby so I've never had to make this decision. I would say though that babysitting is expensive, so I can see why folks do it.
Now about Red Lobster, what I want to know is...did you stack a roll of quarters on the table and take one away each time the waiter passed your table without stopping? I can't think about Red Lobster without remembering lunch after church and the roll of quarters. ;)
If so, it may not have been fair for the waiter since he/she was probably terrified to approach your crazy table.
I do love your family though, despite their craziness. I guess Beeki lucked out and missed this opportunity for entertainment and embarrassment?
Posted on 3/15/2007
First of all, those videos are hilarious! What a fun bunch -- and yes, I can sort of see why you are the normal one. :-)
Regarding babies in movie theaters (and elsewhere), I agree with you. I sympathize (nay, empathize, my daughter was once a baby and I remember what it was like) with what a grueling and grinding time it can be to care continuously for a new baby, and how a little time away for rest and relaxation is so necessary. But this is where grandparents or other relatives can be a blessing, or better yet (here's a great idea for a ministry) the church could provide a valuable service by giving the parents a little time away, by themselves, at no cost.
I don't know. I was raised with a high degree of respect for others when in public, meaning that if they are paying good money to see a movie, I'm either going to be watching the movie also, or I'm going to remove myself from being the cause of distraction and problems for others. That is not the time and place to assert one's "demand for rights", or to expect others to have patience with me. There are other places where such demands are appropriate, but not there.
Despite my stern-sounding ideas about this subject, I actually try to be very kind and helpful to new parents if I can. If I see them in public (like in church or something) and the baby is just fussy and crying, and the parents are flustered, I assure them that strong, healthy lungs in a new baby are something to be grateful for, and that all the struggles, hardship, frustration that it seems like at that moment will be worth it.
(Sorry, I think I got way off subject here...)
Posted on 3/15/2007
C-Ham, couldn't have said it any better. The lack of regard or respect for other people is shocking to someone raised to be keenly aware of it.
Don't get me wrong - I love kids! And I know that parents need a break. But everyone needs a break sometimes... and that's why we go to the movies. We shouldn't have to put up with other people's problems and stressors while enjoying our break. Right?
As for the videos... well... in my forthcoming mental health examination, let's just call them "Exhibit A."
Posted on 3/15/2007
How does "300" compare to "Alexander" in terms of gladiator movies?
Posted on 3/15/2007
Alexander is the biggest turd of a movie that I've seen in at least the past five years. If you reshot the thing, and had each of the characters swap lines with each other, it would make exactly the same amount of sense as the way Stone shot it. His script was as bad as Saving Private Ryan's would have been if Spielberg decided to narrate all the battle sequences instead of show them. Philip Glass' music makes more sense than Alexander did. The odds are better of not getting an STD from an actress than of not losing brain cells watching Alexander.
So, I think what I'm trying to say is that 300 and Alexander don't compare... at least not as gladiator movies, Grant Miller!
Posted on 3/15/2007
OK, those were very entertaining videos, but I must take exception at your comment in the first one about putting the glasses away after reading the menu. There are some of us for whom this is a regular occurence. I can't tell you how many times in the last year I have walked into a meeting at work, only to discover that there were handouts to read, and had to leave to go back to my office to get my glasses so I could actually read. It stinks to get old.
Posted on 3/15/2007
Getting old does stink, Steve... and it's the job of the younger to point that out. If it helps, Beeki does it to me all the time. C'est la vie.
Count your blessings: at least you're not getting old and crazy like Crackhead and the Colonel!
Posted on 3/15/2007
Cach, I completely agree with you here. I think it is terribly, horribly, awfully, well... awful that parents bring babies and small children to PG 13 and R rated movies. I mean, I don't pay $9.50 to go hear a bunch of kids squealing crying and screaming.
On the other hand, are we harming our children by doing this to them (and I mean the general "we" here)? Think about this movie. Was there shouting? Screaming? Blood-letting? Loud, dramatic, forceful and scary music with thumps, booms and thundering drum rolls? We (again, the general one) are raising a generation of neurotic, insecure and weak kids. Could it be because we expose them to such dramatic aural and visual stimulation at such a young age? Their poor little systems can't take it!
Something to think about anyway.
Posted on 3/16/2007
Oh, can we PLEASE go to dinner with your family? What fun.
Posted on 3/16/2007
Sad. Even if you take a kid to a PG or G movie, you could be damaging their hearing for life! The last few times I've been to a movie, the sound was almost too much for me. I don't understand why they think we have to be deafened in order to enjoy a movie.
And about not going to the movies with kids...my husband and I haven't been to a movie at a theater since "The Passion of the Christ." Wasn't that in '04?? That's the only one we've been to since our kids were born, and our oldest is almost 4. I've actually enjoyed watching DVDs though. It gives you an excuse to invest a little more moo-lah in your home stereo/TV. :) Besides, I don't think there have been too many movies worth seeing in the last few years. I did recently see "The Illusionist," and I loved that one.
Posted on 3/19/2007