As some of you Cachinnatees may remember, I played golf for the very first time in my life last week.

It. Was. Awesome.

What in the world could possibly be better than being outdoors with good friends in the nice weather hitting a ball with a stick instead of being at work? Answer: nothing.

Now then... as to how the actual golfing went... well...

I. Was. Awful.

But that's not the point. The point is the fun. So here are a few clips from the unintentionally comical outing with Don Boscoe, Gray-ham, and Gene Kelly Parker:

I got the day started on the driving range. This is where you practice hitting the ball as hard and straight as you can. Even though I kept dedicating the shot to Beeki, I hit no ball either hard or straight. Oh well:



While I didn't have much skill with the whole "hitting the ball" thing, I was the designated driver of the golf cart. Gene Kelly Parker had vodka for breakfast so he was in no shape to drive. In this video we attempt to overtake Don Boscoe and Gray-ham's cart:



Now, if you thought my drives looked bad... well... that's only because you never saw my short game...:



But it wasn't all bad. There were a few of my shots that were useful. In the first video here, you'll see us all hit. Now, you might be tempted to say, "Wow. You guys suck. Only Don Boscoe looks like he knows what he's doing." And you'd be right. But the important thing is that we used three of my shots on this drive. So focus on that. In the second video, it's another good shot of mine that we end up using. I can at least claim that I improved slightly over the course of the day...





Actually, the day turned out to be quite educational. Look at all the useful things we learned:



About halfway through the day, we slowed down a bit. I think all the sucking and missing started to get to us...:



We decided the remedy to the big slow down was to document our shots more closely. We figure that if there's a chance the video will show up on YouTube or the blog, maybe we'll hit better. I don't think it worked:



Then things got evil. Many of you are aware of Gray-ham's wicked tendencies already. He can be a total bastard! He showed his true colors on the golf course and revealed how he is only barely eligible for consideration as a human being:



Gray-ham's evil wasn't the only malfeasance going on that day. Check this out:



Through it all, we kept our hopes set high:



But that was foolishness. We finished in dead last. By a loooooong way. But considering our relative inexperience, it wasn't totally humiliating. And after all, the tournament was to raise money for missions in Africa. So it doesn't matter that we got embarrassed in front of our friends. And now on the internet. It doesn't matter that we looked like fools. It doesn't matter that we played like we were drunk even though we were stone cold sober. It doesn't... matter... *sniff*...

Oh well. Next time we'll rock the house. Now get outside and do something fun.