The following are quotes by friends and family during the holiday season. Context is intentionally omitted. I like it better that way:

Clay the Temp: Enchanted is a great date movie... I saw it with my mom...

Don Boscoe: I wanted to make a little Texas Book Suppository...

Beeki: I don't know what's more annoying: the back scratching or just them being so chubby.

Gene Kelly Parker: I watched all the Harry Potty Movers...

Beeki: You can root for Oklahoma with no bars holed.

Cach: Nobody asks to be abused...
Beeki: Well you asked me to marry you. And that's the same thing as asking to be abused.

Mark: Now I kinda hope I do get the flu so everyone else will feel like a asshole.

Cliff: I think my new furniture fund just went into my butt.

Beeki: Ugh. That thing she's wearing is like one giant poop.

Cach: You getting ass surgery is the greatest thing to happen to comedy since Miss South Carolina.