What the nut? My little sister drives up to Wacko this morning. Why? We're going to my cousin's wedding! It's such a big event that my as-yet unmentioned older brother and his girlfriend have even come into town. They're already there with my mom and dad waiting for us to arrive in Nacogdoches. Naca-who? Nacogdoches. (a.k.a.: Where???) So Hooley, the Cachinnator's sister, and I hop in the car and head on out. The drive is fairly uneventful. We get to Crockett, even less of a nowhere than Nacogdoches and stop for gas. How middle of nowhere is it? This middle of nowhere. We fill up, get drinks, hop back in the car and... the key won't even turn in the ignition. My car is completely locked up. I can't even put it in neutral to push it away from the pump. Now remember, this is the second time in a week that I've had problems starting the car. I'm not sure they're related, but it's at least frustrating.
How much do you know about small-town Texas, Cachinnatees? I'll tell you this: they're all quaint, they're all quiet, they all have town squares, and they all close down at noon on Saturdays. We arrived in Crockett at 12:15pm. No mechanics open. I call my insurance company and they order a tow. I have my choice on the tow: Wacko for $250 or Lufkin for free. After much deliberation, we chose Lufkin, and my dad came to get us. We had to wait for the tow truck, and that man took his sweet time. Three hours later... he arrived. We missed the wedding. And most of the reception.
BUT... all is not lost. They don't call me the Cachinnator for nothing! It's a rare breed that can find comedy in all this. And yet... behold: Whilst in the bathroom of the Texaco at which I was stranded, I came across this sign:
Apparently, they take great pride in keeping clean restrooms! Which I found ironic given this:
Note the overflowing trash.
Note the unidentifiable mold.
Note the dead bug.
Note the ring around the toilet, etc...But where things got really interesting is when my mom got up with my cousin to do some karaoke. She has since refused to acquiesce to my demand for a digital widescreen TV, so here's my revenge:
So for comedy's sake, it wasn't a total loss!
10 Cachinnations
I'm sorry about your car, but at least you got to the reception in time to capture some familial comedy gold!
P.S. I can now rest easy knowing how very in the middle of nowhere Crockett is. Thank you, Cach!
Posted on 6/11/2006
I think it's time for a trade in.
The car, I mean, not the cousin.
Posted on 6/11/2006
The car's really not in bad shape! These are actually the first two problems I've had with it. Which may be more frustrating.
As for the cousin, I definitely wouldn't trade him in. He's part of the famed 'Middle Sons Club' we have going in my family. The pattern of having two boys then a girl is fairly prevalant in my fam, and we've noticed that all the middle sons are the best looking, smartest, most talented, etc. (We being the us, the middle sons. Still an accurate observation.)
Posted on 6/11/2006
Ahahahahahahahahahaha
ahem.
hahahahahahahahahaha
Posted on 6/11/2006
"Help make poverty history"? Are they trying to set a world record? Are they going to make as many people poor as possible?
Posted on 6/11/2006
Forky... you're a fool.
Posted on 6/11/2006
That was so funny, but if I was your mother, I'd never get you a digital widescreen after that post. :-)
Posted on 6/12/2006
She's got rhythm... She's got music... She's got her man... She should stick to Krispy Treats...
(I think she just kiscked me from 2000 miles away)
Posted on 6/13/2006
All I can say is .......
And I say that because if I recall you mother has a red umbrella that I was once beaten mercilessly with.
Posted on 6/13/2006
Ok, well first...that's what you get for buying American. At least my Honda's were made in IL! :)
Second, I dare say that your mother becomes increasingly more amusing with every passing year. Her rhythmic sways are reminiscent of one dance craze in particular...all she's missing is a cigarette in one hand and a mixed drink in the other.
Gotta love Momma Baker, if only all moms were as cool as her. :)
Posted on 6/13/2006