Grant Miller has served humanity again. This time he gives us a new version of the... er... "classic"... poem "Footprints in the Sand." Below is his updated poem:
I once dreamt
I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Across the sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand:
mine and the Lord's.
When the last scene flashed above me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand
and noticed many times along the path of life
there was only one set of footprints -
always at the very lowest, saddest times of my life.
I questioned Lord about this:
"Lord, you said if I followed you, you'd always walk with me
But looking back, I often see only one set of footprints.
Were you like flying or something? Because, honestly, if I were a God - not that I am or anything, just saying if I was - I'd probably fly a lot too. Because really the ability to fly is one of those powers I've always wanted. X-Ray vision would probably be up there. The ability to stop time, too. Invisibility wouldn't be bad, either. So you were flying, right?
The Lord replied:
"No. You moron. I was carrying you - those were your saddest, lowest points. Get it? I was carrying you because you couldn't walk without me. Haven't you seen this poem before?"
"Oh. Yeah. I guess that makes more sense, huh? More poetic, too."
I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Across the sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand:
mine and the Lord's.
When the last scene flashed above me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand
and noticed many times along the path of life
there was only one set of footprints -
always at the very lowest, saddest times of my life.
I questioned Lord about this:
"Lord, you said if I followed you, you'd always walk with me
But looking back, I often see only one set of footprints.
Were you like flying or something? Because, honestly, if I were a God - not that I am or anything, just saying if I was - I'd probably fly a lot too. Because really the ability to fly is one of those powers I've always wanted. X-Ray vision would probably be up there. The ability to stop time, too. Invisibility wouldn't be bad, either. So you were flying, right?
The Lord replied:
"No. You moron. I was carrying you - those were your saddest, lowest points. Get it? I was carrying you because you couldn't walk without me. Haven't you seen this poem before?"
"Oh. Yeah. I guess that makes more sense, huh? More poetic, too."
Thank you, Grant Miller.
1 Comment
This is hilarious. Go, Grant Miller!
Posted on 7/23/2008