Bert and Ernie sleep 18 hours a day. It's hard work doing all the napping they do, so they're always in need of a little more.
Theme Song (special thanks to my brother-in-law, Fleeter, for his inspiration to write these lyrics):
(Warning: You won't like this.)
Now, don't get me wrong, they're not the sleepiest mammals on the planet. That honor belongs to Nelson the Cat and him alone. But unlike Nelson, who as a cat is completely useless, Bert and Ernie sleep to supercharge their puppy engines for fast-flying doggy fun!
So here's the thesis: Dogs: good. Cats: worthless wastes of carbon-based matter.
Your thoughts?
"I'm Worthless!"
16 Cachinnations
Bastard!
Posted on 5/17/2006
That was a pre-emptive 'Bastard' for Forky.
Posted on 5/17/2006
Wow. pre-emptive.
I believe that cats are evil and should be treated with malicious intent.
Posted on 5/17/2006
ITS A HIT!!! Maybe they will pick it up at Saddlebags.
Posted on 5/18/2006
Cach - I complained about a prior clip that I had listened to here. It seems that since that time, you have kindly undertaken a policy of providing warnings with these clips of yours.
In this case, the warning was both wrong and unnecessary. This clip is freakin' hilarious! I almost fell out of my chair.
Thanks, you rock.
Posted on 5/18/2006
Yes, I agree. Best clip yet. I like it even more when I imagine that you in that new little comment picture of yours are singing that song while Bert and Ernie go to town on your toes.
Posted on 5/18/2006
Of course you know this means war.
Posted on 5/18/2006
Wow! Your dog got so tired, he couldn't even make it more than halfway out of his bed before he fell asleep again! Still, I like dogs much better than cats.
Posted on 5/18/2006
so.... I played your audio clip.... and, ironicly, I suppose, my cat came over, looking worried, and sniffed at the computer speakers, then gave a questioning sort of "meow"
Posted on 5/18/2006
I was talking to some songwriters here in Nashville the other day, and they were joking about how they sit around trying to write "new" hit songs, like "My God is a Really Cool God".
Posted on 5/19/2006
I tried that too. "Joseph did you know?" just didn't catch. dang.
Posted on 5/19/2006
Wow...pretty freaky...that must be the hidden song that you get when you play "My God is an awesome God backwards." GOD...DOG...freaky!
Posted on 5/19/2006
Cats? Worthless? Ha! My cat could whip both of your dogs.
Posted on 5/19/2006
Well somebody's a might-makes-right bully! Thanks, Soviet Sarah. I do not dispute your claim; Bert and Ernie could be whipped by most household pets. Worth is not dictated by the ability to whup arse, and my thesis stands: Cats are stealing valuable oxygen from the rest of the planet.
Posted on 5/19/2006
Cach - Every dog I've ever owned would disagree with you about the worth of cats.
I grew up with a whole menagerie of animals, including both dogs and cats.
And every single dog, without exception, just could not restrain himself from the temptation of sticking his little doggie snout into the catbox buffet.
It doesn't matter how many "Bad Dog!" or newspaper butt-slaps you give them, either -- it's apparently an impulse that is just too strong to resist.
Set up a hidden camera in the room and leave the house for a while -- you'll get to see doggie's brief and hopeless attempts to resist temptation. But after a guilty-looking glance around, he always dives in, as if to say "Oh goody! More delicious Kit-Kat bars from the wonderful puckering starfish behind kitty. Yummy!"
Posted on 5/24/2006
What is wrong with you people?! Nelson is the epitome of mammalian evolution and feline beauty! Bert & Ernie are not worthy to groom his hind-flanks! Cats forever!
Posted on 6/05/2006